Funny Moments

So I haven't posted in a while, but I plan on changing that. I am not trying to read a list of books for a ridiculous exam any more and apparently grading is not on my list of priorities even though grades are due Monday and there is a HUGE stack awaiting my perusal. I would like to share some of the funnier moments in my life, or rather in my classroom from this semester.

My fourth block is awesome. There are 31 10th graders shoved in into my room that is always too hot thanks to the school district's need to control the flow of money. But my kids find a way to make me smile every day. And for those of you who have ever taught before know this doesn't happen every year. In fact, refer to earlier posts. These kids interact with each other as though we are all family. Each person's eccentricity only adds to the ambiance of the room. Some of my favorite moments:

Colgate and Carlton

One of my girls in this class is always smiling and she has a beautiful smile. She has a few dingy moments, but she knows how to laugh at herself. One of my boys, who reminds me of Carlton off of The Fresh Prince because he is a foot shorter than everyone, but not because he is a nerd, is head over heels in love with her. He constantly picks on her which she retorts, not smiling for once, "You act like I don't have your momma on speed dial." Then she flashes that perfect Colgate smile at him and I see Carlton melt in his seat.

This class has decided my seating chart is arbitrary and Carlton has squirmed his way over next to Colgate. She doesn't complain because he always helps her with the classwork. Today, Carlton mentions how smart Einstein was, to which Colgate gets a confused look on her face and says, "I thought he was the guy who walked around like this," at which she begins pantomiming a zombie walk.

"Um...Colgate. That would be Frankenstein."

Colgate: beautiful smile and "Oh yeah, Mrs. V."

Ellen and Baked Potato

I have a lesbian in this class. She's very open about her lifestyle and respects everyone. She hits on my everyday. I would feel special, but she hits on anyone with female parts. Ellen just wants everyone to feel good about themselves. So if she notices that someone has pretty eyes, she makes sure to tell them. Baked Potato may have a serious crush on me. He gets to class early, brings me chocolate (sometimes a left over baked potato from lunch), and does everything he can to make me smile. At the beginning of the year it was immature stuff, now he has matured into showing me how smart he is by interpreting Julius Caesar. He often sits at my podium in front of the class. One day, Ellen was not feeling well. I kept asking her if she needed to go to the nurse, but she said she would be fine. Towards the end of class BP asks: "Mrs. V, has a student ever asked for your phone number?"

I paused to long to answer this question because Ellen pops her head up and says, "Hey Mrs. V, I lost my number, can I have yours?"

"I see you are feeling better huh Ellen."

Another Carlton Moment

While discussing the background of Greek mythology Carlton notices that his history class keeps coming up in his English classes. Seizing a learning opportunity I said:

"Of course. Just think, history happens because someone had an idea. And what did they do with those ideas? They wrote them down! Then these ideas changed the world through revolutions. All because they wrote down their thoughts."

Carlton: "Not in MLA format they didn't."

Couldn't argue with that.

Tomorrow I will share the "That's What She Said" moments I keep overhearing.

Where in the World...

I’m sitting in a million year old recliner, but I want to be in California. I’m watching reruns of Big Bang (which is set in California), after watching the new episode, and a commercial for California pops up. So I want to be in California beside that dude from Food Network with the bleach blonde hair eating some massive man meal he just cooked with our guest of honor Sheldon Cooper.

People swear parts of California aren’t what they are cracked up to be. According to Tucker Max and Joe, LA is the worst place in the world. As Tucker Max pointed out, there is a reason the reality shows featuring people who are famous for being famous such as Laguna Beach and that other show with all the blondes is set in LA. Joe just thinks LA is dirty. Which doesn’t make sense seeing as all the blondes erupting from there look very clean. “Look” is probably the operative word here.

My sister-in-law swears San Diego is the best place in the world. She lives in Vegas and has traveled all over, so I trust her. Apparently the weather is perfect year round and wine just falls out of the sky straight into your mouth. I’m not a big wine fan, but for perfect weather I could learn to love wine. If I could ensure there would be magic little elves to make my coffee in the morning with fresh ground beans I’d be packed in a second.

The commercials always show a variety of landscapes. I think I would like the variety. Imagine: snow, beaches, deserts, cities, and forests all in one state. Forgetting the fact that it takes several hours to drive from one landscape to the next, I would never be bored. I could skip school on Friday for a hike through the redwoods, spend Saturday snowboarding (I don’t know how to snowboard, but like the wine thing, I’m willing to learn), and then Sunday lounging by a vineyard.

Another thing those commercials always show…famous people! I haven’t met anyone famous yet and I desperately need to meet someone famous. I have a few in mind and I don’t even know if they live in California, but I feel like being in the state would be enough to up the chances of me meeting someone famous. I’m sure I would make a fool of myself and stammer while staring uncontrollably, but it would be worth it to share a moment with Josh Hartnett. Or Alexander Skarsgard. Maybe even Ryan Reynolds.

When I’m finally done with Georgia, California will welcome me with open arms. Austin is willing. That snowboard idea is right up his alley.